Sam Puckett's Diary
by pashydeb
Summary: Sam starts a diary and finds that she loves it, thus carrying it around just about anywhere. One day, she gets a little drunk by accident and calls Freddie. Also, she befriends a new student out of curiosity, kick starting some unexpected emotions.
1. Introducing Me

**DISCLAIMER : I DON'T OWN ICARLY**

**Saturday, 3 AM, my bed**

Hey there, diary. Or Diary. Whatever.

Now, I just want to get _ one_ thing straight. I, Sam Puckett, am NOT writing a diary. I'm writing a…, rewind.

Hey there, Dean.

That was _much_ better. You must be wondering why _I_ would buy such a thing. Well, I didn't. Melanie thought it would be sweet to give me this prissy thing last Christmas and when I opened it, I just threw it under my bed. My mom found it last night and was pissed that I didn't even write my _name_ in it. Well, I can do _so_ much better than that.

My name is Sam Puckett. Suicidal morons call me Samantha. Mama likes her meat and not paying for anything. My best friend is Carly Shay. She's beautiful, popular and nice-to everyone. We are co-hosts of iCarly and complete opposites. Come to think of it, why the _hell_ is she friends, let alone best friends, with _me_?

Ehh, whaddya know? Maybe opposites _do _attract. My best enemy/friend (frenemy?) is Freddie Benson, nub. I call him geek, Fredward, king of the nubs, nub, Frediffer, Fredlumps, Frestupid, Fredwina…yeah, I think thats it. Oh, and Freddie. Sometimes.

He's in the AV club so he does all that techie geek stuff Carly and I don't know chiz about for us. And then, theres Gibby Gibson. I'm not_ really _sure what his actual name is, but everyone just calls him Gibby or Gibson. You would think the kid's in some weird reality TV show where he's payed to take off his shirt every 10 minutes just like "Vampires Sucks" only minus the whole 6-pack thing.

I swear, his mom must've dropped him when he was a baby or something! But enough about, little Gibson here, lets talk about Spencer. Spencer is Carly girl's older brother.

To be honest, he's more like Carly's son who just _happens_ to be nearly a foot taller and pays all the bills. He dropped out of law school after a few days but their dad doesn't know. To support his little family of two, Spence paints and sculpts wacky things like a robot made of bottles and rope cupboards.

He's about 26 or 27 right now. And I'm 16. Just like Carly and Fredlumps. That's it for my little introduction. Since its nearly 4AM, good morning. I'm off to hit the sack.


	2. Accidentally drunk

Hey guys! How did you like the first chapter? I had no idea it was _that_ short till I saw the word count! Wow. 438 words? I feel like such a hypocrite for saying a good chapter should be 900 words! Anyway, this is a total Seddie story. Its probably gonna be long since I have two climaxes. But whatever. Only the best for you guys! Enjoy. :)

Love, Deb.

**DISCLAIMER : I **_**SO**_** DON'T OWN ICARLY**

**Sunday, 2 PM, bedroom **

I've just woke up. Hey, Dean. Anyway, I had a weird and freaky dream last morning. A huge block of French ham was dancing around in my new fancy bra (I bought it 2 days a go from Build-a Bra). Then, Freddie(who was wearing a skirt!) joined in and they did the Macarena. Suddenly, the ham tripped and fell into a huge teacup full of barbeque sauce. Ew. I'm gonna go shower now, I _really_ stink.

**Sunday, 4 PM, kitchen : deep chizz! x(**

MY DREAM CAME TRUE! I was just looking for a clean shirt when the sauce from my ribs spilled onto my bra! Carls is going to _murderize_ me! I was supposed to wear that bra tonight for our special iCarly episode – iCarly Awards. Ugh. Now I have to squeeze into one of Carly's tiny B-cups! Thank_ God_ no one can see how much spillage there is when I wear those little things.

Y'know, this whole diary thing is kinda soothing. Not as much as a little sledge hammering or gun-firing, but still. I'm gonna walk over to Carly's house now. Wish my boobs luck!

**Sunday, 9 PM, dining room : in LOOVE!**

Some swimsuit models came over to they Shays' tonight. I think I've just fallen in love! They are _soo _hot! Come to think or it, Fredwina looked kinda hot in his tux. I did _not_ just write that. No, scratch that-I DID NOT JUST WRITE THAT. Ah, it must be the night. Or those funny little shots of strong water I stole from Spencer. I must've had at least 6 of those by now.

Make that 7. Ahh…I feel like skipping! In a field of flowers and butterflies under the sparkly stars. Wait…was I drinking _booze_? Chizz, no! I can't make my fingers touch each other properly. I keep missing! Oh no, it _can't_ be! I'm DRUNK! I _can't_ have a hangover tomorrow! Its _Monday!_ I have school!

Maybe Freddie can ask his mom for a cure. I guess I'll call him now.

**Sunday, 11 PM, bedroom : still drunk and stupid, yay! :p**

How could I have not noticed how _sexily husky_ Freddie's voice is before? I know I'll probably kill myself for that, but he _does._ So rough, so _manly._ So…hot.

No, wait. _Hawt._ I don't really remember much of what happened during that phonecall, except it must've been pretty long. I'll ask Freddie tomorrow morning, Now-to sleep. _Glorious_ sleep.


End file.
